T-6 days until the Super Bowl. At T-7 days I began my own personal version of the 2-minute drill, a stress-filled, heavy-on-the-voicemail, I-don’t-know-what-you-mean-by-“stalking” Super Bowl shuffle so to speak.
Every year around this time I spend weeks working to get one of our veteran clients into a broad smattering of Super Bowl parties at that year’s designated game site, but no matter how big of a head start I get I cannot control when the event planners and VIP handlers confirm their guest list (hint: it’s NOT 4 weeks ahead of time), so the week right before the game is always action-packed.
One of the other funny twists of the past 2 years is this client has taken to vacationing immediately after his team’s playoff exit, returning just before the weekend of mayhem begins. Last year this resulted in me receiving late-night emails from a cyber cafe in Turkey that were written, thanks to Cyrillic keyboards, in what is best described as “the written version of what English sounds like when spoken with a thick eastern European accent.” Needless to say, there was some decoding involved.
This year he chose a trip that left him mostly disconnected from the world – no email or phone calls for almost 3 weeks – with only the odd text message: Antarctica. He was supposed to return this weekend, though I didn’t know when. By Friday afternoon there were at least 3 emails from me waiting in his inbox with updated information, and I decided it would be helpful for me to try to figure out when to expect to hear from him. I pulled up an airline site to search flights from Antarctica to get an ETA.
Unhelpful, but cute.
Turns out, I don’t know squat about Antarctica. I am not proud of this. I went to book a fake flight just to determine the estimated travel time and realized I couldn’t name a single Antarctican city. Is the South Pole a city? I don’t know, but United, American, and a host of other airlines didn’t seem to think so and refused to fly me there. In fact, according to my first search efforts one would think there were no cities and no airports on the entire continent. So I dug deeper (ok not that much deeper…Wikipedia), only to find that none of the airports on the continent seem to host flights to or from the U.S. My assumption here is that I’m wrong, but at this point I have no idea how our client is returning from Antarctica nor how he got there in the first place. (Boat? Hot air balloon? Whale?)
But since there was no need to actually find out, since there was nothing I could do about it, I decided not to waste any more precious time on my little game of “Antarctica for the severely geographically-challenged.” How long does it take to get back from Antarctica? jou:re guezz ys ez good ez myne;