My church recently announced that this Sunday, February 6, it will be hosting a “Large Concave Dish Party.”
With a nod to the slight exaggeration, this is necessary because the actual words “
Super Bowl” are copyrighted and cost a lot of money to use. I consider this to be exceedingly bizarre and ridiculous. For business to even refer to the name of the actual event, they must pay the NFL large copyright usage fees.
How is it that we call a tissue a “Kleenex” (brand name), a photocopy a “Xerox” (brand name), and have turned nouns like “Google” and “Facebook” into verbs, adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, prepositions, AND tattoos…and yet to refer to the biggest event of what is arguably America’s favorite sport, companies are forced to use a patronizing euphemism?
I’ve had my fill of reading about the “Big Game,” the “Big Game Bash,” the “Championship Party,” the “Biggest Sunday in Sports, and “The Game.” Apparently any reference to a mysterious sporting event using capital letters means we’re talking about the “Game That Must Not Be Named.”
Can you imagine if this applied elsewhere in the NFL season? “This week, the ‘Ferocious Grizzly Species of the Windy City’ host the ‘Motor City Kings of the Jungle’ to determine who will claim the ‘Uno-Play-That-Allows-You-To-Choose-Any-Color-You-Like!'”*
But as the NFL continues negotiations with the Players Association, continuing toward (or away from) a new collective bargaining agreement, the “Game That Must Not Be Named” gives us a pretty good analogy of what we’re dealing with: the NFL is all-powerful and, bottom line, it’s always about the money. Let’s just call a spade a Black Skyward-pointing Upside Down Heart With A Trunk-Like Base.
But for right now, there’s still got one more game to be played, so GO PACKERS, and have a Superb Bowl on Sunday!
* That was ‘Chicago Bears’ host the ‘Detroit Lions’ to determine the ‘Wild Card.’ Was that not clear???